Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You pole danced in your parka.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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