@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
