singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
