First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
