I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize