i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
