I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize