His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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