Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
