It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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