i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
