Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
