Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
