Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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