i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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