i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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