Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the day after is always just damage control
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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