so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
