he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
