i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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