READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
