Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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