I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
