Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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