so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
