I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
