You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
