since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
