wat bout pragnant strippers??
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
