Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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