It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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