OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
