Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
