If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
