she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
