Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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