i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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