the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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