I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just blew my weed a kiss
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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