I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
