I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
