just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
