I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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