if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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