wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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