So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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