would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
