i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
