She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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