no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
