is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize