So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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