I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
